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12 Bonehead Basics of Car Maintenance
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You know, That Guy who thinks that the best way to keep a car from overheating is to roll down the window. That Guy who hires the neighborhood kid to wash his car 'cause he’s allergic to “going outside and doing things.” There are lots of ways to be That Guy, but only one way not

to be: by regaining your self-sufficiency and learning the basics about car care. Using STP® is a good first step. And while we can’t do the rest for you, we'll give you a few pointers. Check out the tutorials. Take a look at the videos. And get under your hood. Good luck, and Don't Be That Guy.

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  • Feb
    16
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    YOU’RE SO VAIN

    Posted in: Car Culture
    Metallica
    License to Ill

    There are a lot of ways in which people personalize their cars. Spoilers, bumper stickers (which we’ve written about here) and vanity plates. Ahhh, vanity plates. The Lady Gaga of car accessories. Often outrageous, often provocative, often over the top. Indulgent and, occasionally, pretty effing funny.

    Like legally changing your name, there are a lot of logistical parameters — rules, really — that vary state by state, limiting what you can and can’t get on your plates.

    Massachusetts, for instance, says that you can’t get a combination of letters and numbers that represents “fighting words” — designed to inflame passion and ultimately lead to violent confrontation. Though, this seems up for interpretation. For instance, SOX1FAN might have that exact effect in oh, say, New York.

    Similarly, sexually suggestive plates are a no-no in most states, too. But again, it’s pretty subjective. According to Esquire Magazine, a not-particularly-offensive plate, BUCKNKD, was banned in Utah. Of course, most things are banned in Utah, but that seems a little extreme to me.

    Generally, vanity plates seem to fall into one of five categories:

    1) Dirty Words
     
    This is all about sneaking one past the Man. Coming up with something so clever, so sneaky, that the DMV will never know the real meaning of your plate (FLASHME.)

    2) Thinking Outside the Box

    This is when the plate makes use of extra letters outside of the license plate itself — for instance, the State Motto — or extra letters tagged onto either side of the plate.

    3) Expression of Extreme Fan-dom

    These vanity plate–havers like to use their plates to tell you how much they love their dog, Star Trek, beer, mixed martial arts, or their mom.

    4) It’s All About Me

    These plates tell the car behind them something about who they’re tailing — their emotional state, their high school nickname, or their job ...
      — HPY GRL (Is that Happy Girl? Hippie Girl? Hyphy Gorilla?)
      — MR BADD (Don’t tailgate this guy.)
      — BONE DOC (If you get in an accident, might as well be with an orthopedic surgeon.)

    5) Say My [Car’s] Name!

    For some, getting a vanity plate that says what kind of car they’re driving is kind of like getting a tattoo with their name on it. For, others, it’s the pinnacle of expressing their love for their ride. Though the fact that it seems so common with the Prius is a mystery.

      — MY PRIUS
      — IGO4LES
      — 57MPG (Yeah, yeah, we all get it.)

    One of these car references, sighted on a Porsche Boxster, probably wouldn’t be legal in Utah. I’ll let you all figure that one out on your own…

    Well, that’s it for now, chief. Let me know if I missed out on any key categories of vanity plates. And until next time, KEEP DRIVN.

    — JI, STP® Blogger

     

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