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12 Bonehead Basics of Car Maintenance
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You know, That Guy who thinks that the best way to keep a car from overheating is to roll down the window. That Guy who hires the neighborhood kid to wash his car 'cause he’s allergic to “going outside and doing things.” There are lots of ways to be That Guy, but only one way not

to be: by regaining your self-sufficiency and learning the basics about car care. Using STP® is a good first step. And while we can’t do the rest for you, we'll give you a few pointers. Check out the tutorials. Take a look at the videos. And get under your hood. Good luck, and Don't Be That Guy.

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  • Nov
    30
    1 Comment

    How to Install Tire Chains

    Posted in: Who's That Guy?, This Guy Wisdom, Tips and Tricks: Exterior, Car Knowledge
    Shaq Diesel
    Are we there Yeti?

    Hey, chief. There’s something I need to get off my chest. This may sound a little crazy, but here goes: I believe in Sasquatch, the mythical beast also known as Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman, and the Yeti. I believe in the Sasquatch because I’ve seen one with my own eyes. It happened last winter when I was camping with some buddies up near Chehalis in Washington State. Sure, we’d eaten some wild mushrooms we picked in the forest (our lawyers ask that you not try this at home), but what I saw was real: a giant furry snow beast traipsing through the brush. And now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure it was eating a Slim Jim. I also had a conversation with a marmot, but that’s neither here nor there. I know what I saw.

    If you’re planning your own winter getaway to a snowy region in search of hairy mythical creatures, you might want to consider getting tire chains for your vehicle. These buggers can be difficult to install, so here’s a few simple tips that may help:

    1.    Tire chains always go on the drive wheels. They’re the ones that power your car, chief. You know, the way Burt Reynolds’ mustache powers his face. So you need to find out if your vehicle is front-wheel drive, rear-wheel drive, or all-wheel drive.

    2.    Make sure to use the correct size chains for your tire. The size will be indicated on the tire’s sidewall. Also, keep plenty of Slim Jims handy. Sasquatches love Slim Jims.

    3.    Lay the chains flat on the ground and make sure the metal hooks are facing down.

    4.    Slowly drive your vehicle halfway onto the chains. You might want to play some BJ Thomas or Gordon Lightfoot on your car stereo while attempting this maneuver, because a little BJ always inspires confidence.

    5.    Turn off the engine and set the parking brake. Now drape the chains over both sides of the tire, and remember to keep the cable connectors on the outside. Also, you might want to brush up on your karate moves since most Sasquatches are trained in the ancient art of kung fu.

    6.    Reach behind the tire and connect the connector cables on the inside first. If you have trouble reaching, turn the steering wheel for a better angle. I used this same technique on my honeymoon. Thanks, I’m here all week. Tip your waitresses.

    7.    Once the cables are connected on the inside, begin working the chains completely around the wheel. Remove as much slack as possible before connecting the outside cable.

    8.    Keep the chains as tight as possible. This can be done by connecting a bungee cord to the chains. If you actually do come face to face with a Sasquatch and are able to defeat the beast in hand-to-hand combat, your bungee cord and tire chains can be used to restrain the creature until the authorities arrive.

    And don’t try to get a head start by putting your tire chains on the night before you intend to drive…. They can ice over and pose a serious threat the next day. If you need further help, check out this excellent instructional video created by the good folks at the Oregon Department of Transportation.

    Until next time: Travel safe, live smart, and get your hands dirty. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go practice my Shaolin drunken monkey technique. Huwyaaaaa!

    —RC, STP® blogger

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  • Brian Nettles
    12.22.11

    Nice entertaining post tying together the Slim Jim, Sasquatch, martial arts and tire chains.  Those cables by SCC are pretty nice.  Easy to put on and take off.  Good traction with the wire twisties instead of the rollers.  I used them about two seasons ago and really liked them; however, the next snow season, they were stretched out and unusable.  Thanks for the post.

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